Boardroom 6
by McIntyre58
Summary: A conference is called in an attempt to end the greatest threat to the Marvel Universe...film rights. Film executives and film characters come together...somehow... to solve this problem once and for all. Or, more likely, not.
1. Chapter 1

_**In the wake of the recent Sony hack, an idea popped into my mind of how the meetings between Marvel Studios and Sony would go related to Spider-Man in the MCU. And then more ideas popped into my head, it got sillier and sillier, and now here we are. So, hopefully you enjoy it, because there are a lot of jokes about real life and fictional universes. Also, it's mostly topical, so enjoy it while it's relevant!**_

* * *

Nick Fury paced down one of the many long hallways of the Helicarrier, currently flying thousands of feet over the Pacific Ocean, cloaked from view. He was annoyed, and the general air of that that he was exuding was picked up by other SHIELD agents, who moved out of his way. He arrived on the control deck, standing in the middle of the circular area for the piloting team's consoles. He pretended not to notice Officer Jenkins once again playing Galaga, instead looking out at the clouds steadily rolling by.

"Sir?" Agent Maria Hill asked, walking up behind him. "What is it?"

"The meeting that's currently going on in Boardroom Six." Fury hissed, his annoyance palpable.

"What about it?" Hill asked, not knowing what meeting that was.

"That debate, that will hopefully be resolved today, has been going on for far too long." Fury explained. "And I'm just preparing for the inevitable failure of negotiations. And then the complaining will begin again."

"The complaining from who, sir?" Hill asked.

"The _fanboys_." Fury hissed, narrowing his eye.

Before Hill could ask anything more, a man pulling a t-shirt down past his enormous hair, and then over skin-tight red and blue spandex, ran across the back of the room, speeding towards the boardroom that Fury had been talking about.

Hill turned, watching him run by, and then turned back to Fury. "Sir, was that-"

"Yes."

"But that's not possible-"

"By the end of the meeting, it just might be." Fury muttered. "It just might be..."

* * *

An automatic door hissed open, and Peter Parker ran into Boardroom Six. On one side of the long table inside were the Avengers; Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Thor, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton, all chatting with each other. On either side of them sat Joss Whedon and Kevin Feige, representatives for Marvel Studios. On the other side of the table, Amy Pascal and Marc Webb, representatives for Sony, sat on either side of an empty seat, reserved for Peter.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry." Peter said, hurrying to his seat. "It's kind of my thing."

"It's fine." Marc Webb said, patting him on the shoulder.

"Webb, be quiet." Amy Pascal. "You're only here because you directed the movies. Don't forget that."

"I think you could argue that Sony directed the movies." Webb muttered.

"Do you still want the job?" Pascal asked. "You were only hired because of your name, and we can find another tool to direct _our_ movies. Drew Goddard's already starting down that path."

"You stay away from Drew Goddard." Joss Whedon said, pointing at her. "He deserves better than your half-put-together universe."

"The potential for our Spider-Man universe's success is overwhelming-" Pascal started.

"So is the potential for failure." Whedon replied.

"Are you forgetting the potential for failure that Guardians of the Galaxy had?" Pascal asked, smug.

"There was a key difference with Guardians." Whedon answered.

"And what might that be?" Pascal asked, less smug now.

"Marvel made it." Whedon smirked. "If Sony did, it would have been a tragedy."

"You want to talk tragedy?" Peter piped up. "I want to come over to Marvel, I'm running out of family members."

"We've all lost people, kid." Tony said drily. "It's kind of a superhero thing."

"I lost three father figures in one movie!" Peter shot back. "Then my girlfriend in the next movie, partly because of me!"

"Jesus, they really don't pull punches over at Sony." Tony said, turning to Kevin Feige. "Maybe if we went over there, someone would die and stay dead for a change."

"Unless they come back to haunt the main character." Natasha muttered. "As a very subtle ghost."

"I thought it was a good touch." Webb muttered.

"Everyone, please, settle down." Feige said. "Now that Mr. Parker is here, we can begin. We're all here today to discuss the details of possibly including Spider-Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe for Captain America: Civil War."

"What is that?" Tony quietly asked Steve, who just shrugged.

"Given that Spider-Man is such an essential character to the Civil War storyline in the comics, it would only make sense to include him in the film." Feige went on.

"Agreed." Pascal nodded.

"Our proposal is this." Feige finished. "You give us Spider-Man for Civil War. After that, you get him back, and we co-finance your Sinister Six film, as well as a new Spider-Man spin-off."

"That sounds very reasonable." Pascal replied. "But what do you really want?"

"We want Andrew Garfield gone." Feige answered.

"What?" Peter exclaimed.

"You want another re-boot?" Pascal asked. "Are you sure that's what fans want to see right now?"

"What we want is a fresh start, to wipe the slate clean." Feige corrected. "And after Amazing Spider-Man 2, I'd say that fans want something different, anything different, especially if it comes from us."

"Wait, you can't do this-" Peter started, clutching at his chest.

"But Andrew is a very talented actor." Pascal tried to protest. "We think he'd be a great asset to continue to use."

"I won't argue with you that he's a good actor." Feige replied. "But he's not what we want in our universe."

"Please, don't say-" Peter groaned, gripping at Pascal's sleeve.

"Um, is he okay?" Steve asked, looking around the table, concerned.

Pascal thought for a moment. "Fine, Garfield's out." She answered.

"Please, no-" Peter managed to say, before beginning to scream in pain. Everyone at the table jumped up, and saw what was happening to the web-slinger. He continued to scream while clawing at his chest and face, and the onlookers watched as his facial features and enormous hair seemed to be sucked back into his head. As this happened, his cries became muffled, and his clothes disappeared, leaving only the Spider-Man costume on his body. The face of Andrew Garfield had become a blank slate. And from the now bald, completely blank face grew the Spider-Man mask, appearing and expanding from underneath the skin like a tattoo. When it was in place, the figure went silent, slumping back in its chair and not moving.

Tony looked around the room. "Is nobody else going to point out how horrifying that was?"

"Oh, that? That happens every time a comic book character is re-cast, nothing to worry about." Pascal explained. "He'll be like this until we find a new actor, isn't that right, Spidey?" She asked the blank slate, patting its shoulder. Spider-Man's head just plopped forward.

When he thought nobody was looking, Bruce touched his cheek and shuddered.

"Anyway, back to it." Pascal said, taking her seat. Everyone else followed suit, slightly more uneasily.

"How can she be so calm before such a terrible image?" Thor quietly asked Steve.

"Didn't you see Spider-Man 3?" Steve asked back.

"Anyway, onto box office returns." Feige said, back to business. "We were thinking of splitting the returns sixty percent and forty percent."

"For Sony?" Pascal asked hopefully.

"For Marvel." Feige corrected. "We're making the movie, we get the bigger cut."

"And when we make the Spider-Man movies?" Pascal asked.

"Reverse the statistic, of course." Feige answered. "That's only fair."

"And we want some Avengers characters in those movies." Pascal added.

"What?" Feige asked. They hadn't mentioned this before.

All at once, the Avengers looked at each other, all hoping that they wouldn't be chosen. They all knew what happened to comic book franchises at Sony.

"Look, if you want Spider-Man in the Avengers, then we want the Avengers in Spider-Man." Pascal said. "Or one of them, at least."

Feige and Joss Whedon leaned in close to each other, whispering rapidly. After a few seconds, they leaned back, saying at the same time, "Hawkeye."

"WHAT?!" Clint yelled, while Natasha let out a sigh of relief. "Why do I have to go hang out with Captain Three-Villains?"

"Look, Hawkeye, don't take this personally." Feige said. "But nobody likes you."

"That's ridiculous!" Clint replied, offended. "I have lots of fans."

"Weeeeeeeell..." Everyone in the room said at the same time.

"Come on, guys." Clint pleaded. "Haven't you seen all of the fanfictions with me and Natasha? The adventures we've had?"

"I'd actually prefer it if we didn't address those." Natasha said, looking down.

"What's wrong with the thousands of Budapest stories?" Clint asked her.

"Oh, Budapest?" Natasha said, surprised. "I thought you meant all of the...yes, Budapest! Of course! Adventure!"

"Joss, man, please. You can't let them do this." Clint turned to the director. "You made me relevant, and you know that Sony can't do that."

"I'm sorry Clint, but it's not my call." Whedon replied. "And I think everyone can agree that people want Spider-Man in Civil War more than they want you in...well, anything, I guess."

"What is Civil War?" Steve asked Tony. "They keep talking about it."

Tony just shrugged.

"This is bull. Complete bull." Clint snarled, standing up and walking angrily to the door. He turned back, pointing a finger around the room. "And now you all have arrows with your names on them." He whirled around again, storming out, the automatic door closing behind him.

"Was that supposed to be threatening?" Thor asked, looking around the table for an answer.

"I'm sorry, he's a little sensitive." Whedon apologized. "I do what I can to include him, but..." He trailed off.

"Nobody wants to deal with Hawkeye, we know." Pascal said. "I think everyone can understand that."

Everyone in the room nodded.

"At least I could actually carry a movie on my own." Bruce muttered.

"I'm sorry, Bruce, what did you say?" Whedon asked.

"Look, all I want is a movie for myself." Bruce answered. "I think at this point, I deserve it. And people want to see Planet Hulk, so I don't see why we don't just-"

"Bruce, can we talk about this later, please?" Feige hissed.

Bruce clenched his fist, his eyes flooding green. He let out a low growl, which came out louder than anyone expected. Whedon and Feige looked at each other nervously.

"Bruce, buddy, go take a walk." Tony said quietly to his friend. "Go get a drink of water, calm down."

Bruce sucked in a deep breath, getting up and leaving the room quickly, SHIELD agents in the hallways moving out of his way. Everyone inside was visibly relaxed when the door closed.

"Sorry, he's been like that ever since the Phase 3 announcement." Feige explained to the others, who still seemed slightly afraid. "Now, if there's anything else that Sony would like?"

"We want Spider-Man included in all of the Lego sets." Pascal said. "And all of the action figure group packs. I think thirty-five percent of the revenue from those is fair."

"Agreed." Feige said. "If there's anything that we know sells, it's Spider-Man merchandise."

"And all we're asking for is the sales boost that will undoubtedly come with his inclusion." Pascal said.

The door to the room slid open, and Nick Fury entered, still looking irritated. "Mr. Feige, there's a "Simon Kinberg" on conference call for you. He says that he's offering some "mutants"." He told his boss.

"Oh my God." Feige said. "Thank you, Nick. Thank you so much."

Fury turned and left the room, the door sliding shut behind him.

"This is great." Feige said. "This is great." He pulled out a small remote from underneath the table and pointed it at a small television screen mounted on the wall. When the screen clicked on, Simon Kinberg, the representative for Fox, was smiling.

"Good morning, everyone." Kinberg greeted them. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but when we heard about this meeting, we here at Fox decided that we should see if we could get in on it."

"And what made you decide that, Mr. Kinberg?" Feige asked. "The X-Men franchise has been doing very well lately."

"Well, the more we look at the new Fantastic Four, the more it looks like a complete train wreck." Kinberg admitted. "So, we figured we'd cut our losses and see if we can arrange something with Marvel."

"It does look pretty stupid." Whedon nodded.

"Well, Mr. Kinberg, what are you willing to offer?" Feige asked

"Wolverine has expressed a lot of interest." Kinberg answered. "The other X-Men have...conflicting opinions, because most of them exist in multiple timelines. They can be a little inconsistent."

"Just like your continuity." Pascal muttered.

"Oh yeah, because _Sony's_ never made any bad choices." Kinberg shot back. "But if you do, I'm sure you'll re-boot it."

"And what do you call Days of Future Past?" Pascal asked sarcastically, standing up angrily.

"A re-boot that everyone likes!" Kinberg answered angrily.

The door opened, and Bruce walked back in. "Okay, I'm calm, I'm calm, I'm-" He stopped mid-sentence, taking in the scene around him. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Feige said. "Everyone was just calming down. Being _very calm_."

Pascal took her seat again, straightening her suit jacket. Bruce shrugged, walking across the room and sitting back down in his seat.

"As I was saying." Kinberg continued. "We're thinking fifteen percent gross revenue for each movie he appears in, as well as twenty-five percent merchandising rights."

"Twenty-five?" Feige asked. "That's a little steep for one character, isn't it?"

"One character that we've made over seven hundred million dollars from, from two solo movies alone." Kinberg said, smiling. "I don't think anyone here can disagree that Wolverine is the most well-known, if not popular, X-Man."

"Maybe you could give us Quicksilver, too." Whedon said. "Oh, wait."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Kinberg asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I'm just saying, we'd already put Quicksilver in Age of Ultron, and then you just...crammed him into Days of Future Past..." Whedon trailed off, shrugging. "Genius, really."

"What are they talking about?" Tony asked Bruce quietly. Bruce shrugged, also not knowing.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Kinberg said sarcastically, pulling out his phone. "Let me just check every review of that film, oh look, they all say "Quicksilver was the best part of the entire movie", now, how strange is that?" He put the phone away, smirking.

"So strange, that he had to leave the movie for no reason, because he would be able to solve every problem in five seconds." Whedon fired back. "Exactly that strange."

"Gentlemen, please." Feige said, trying to bring focus back to business. "Can we stay on track?"

"Please." Pascal muttered, sounding annoyed.

"Oh, yeah, because you at Sony know all about focus." Kinberg turned to her. "Did you become masters of that when you guys were writing sub-plot number 300 or number 400 of Amazing Spider-Man 2?"

"The studio executives didn't write it!" Pascal replied defensively.

"Sure you didn't." Kinberg said.

"I did the best with what I was given." Webb muttered.

"Look, Mr. Feige, we're willing to give you Wolverine here." Kinberg reasoned. "That popular of a character isn't meaningless."

"We know how significant he is." Feige replied. "But mutants wouldn't really fit into the Marvel Cinematic Universe."

"Oh yeah, that's another one of our conditions." Kinberg added. "Nobody can use the word "mutant"."

"What?" Feige asked incredulously. "Why not?"

"That's our word." Kinberg answered.

"Your word?" Feige asked in disbelief. "What do you mean, it's _your_ word?"

"We own the word "mutant". You can't use it in your movies." Kinberg said, as if he was talking to a toddler.

"Than what word are we supposed to use?" Feige asked.

"Just use "miracles". Kinberg suggested. "You remember the post-credits scene from Winter Soldier?" "Age of miracles", and all that?"

Everyone was staring at the screen with a confused look. Feige and Whedon were shaking their heads, running their hands along their throats warningly.

"Loki's staff?" Kinberg went on. "Baron von Strucker?" He gestured around the table questioningly. "Anybody?" Cap?" He asked the super-soldier.

Steve shrugged. "I really have no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Kinberg."

"Mr. Kinberg, please don't reference the events of the films to characters that weren't there, or events that haven't happened yet." Feige said. "It's very confusing for them, and it can be...dangerous."

"The world we live in is confusing!" Pascal piped up. "How can these heroes exist in a world where we're executives of studios that produce movies about them? Are they fictional characters or not?"

Suddenly, the Helicarrier started to shake. The office chairs rolled around the room, causing Spider-Man's limp body to fall out of the chair. The screen on the wall turned to static, breaking the connection with Fox before it could ever really be made.

"Amy!" Feige yelled. "Don't question reality! Don't you know that you could tear the very fabric of the world apart?!"

"I'm sorry!" The Sony exec replied. "I forgot!"

"Didn't you see Ghostbusters?" Steve yelled. "Always think before you say something!"

"That applies to exactly zero percent of this situation!" Tony yelled.

The Helicarrier stabilized, and everyone relaxed, wheeling back into a more normal position. Nobody paid any attention to Spider-Man's body on the ground.

The door hissed open, and Nick Fury ran in. "Who was questioning the reality of the universe?!" He yelled angrily.

Everyone pointed at Pascal, who gasped in offense.

"Banner's freaking out, so you may want to wrap it up in case things get ugly." Fury said, cocking his gun. "You know, Pascal, one day you could maybe _not_ ruin everything." He turned and exited, running down the hallway.

"Okay, now that we're all not going to be sucked into a rip in the space-time continuum." Feige said. "Let's get back to business. For the new Spider-Man spin-off, we'll agree on the casting and story, right?"

"Of course. Joint effort, joint agreement." Pascal nodded.

"Good." Feige replied. "Do you have any ideas for the story as of right now?"

"We were thinking something like this." Pascal started. "We see Peter Parker dealing with a relationship he's in, or possibly even an on-and-off relationship. People love that, and it doesn't get tedious at all. When out of nowhere, someone close to him is a part of a scientific accident, and becomes the greatest threat he's ever faced." She smiled, leaning back in her seat. "How does that sound?"

"Like every single one of the other Spider-Man films." Feige replied, eyes narrowed. "Do you have anything else?"

"Well, we want a scene with an intrusive pop song-" Pascal started.

"Okay, let's move on to casting." Feige interrupted. "We want to put Peter back in high school, so who do you think would fit that? Who could play socially awkward outcast, but also confident, quipping superhero."

"Adam Scott." Pascal said proudly.

"Adam Scott...WHAT?" Feige asked. "He's forty-one years old!"

"So?" Pascal asked, genuinely confused.

"You know, looking at the people you've casted, are you even aware that people live under the age of thirty?" Feige asked. "Have you ever seen a high school?"

"Not in a while..." Pascal admitted.

"Okay, we'll just move on from Spider-Man." Feige said, looking at Whedon and shaking his head. Whedon just shrugged.

"Why are we moving on from Spider-Man?" Pascal asked. "That's the whole point of this meeting!"

"Well, it's clear that when it comes to the future of Spider-Man, you have no idea what you're doing." Feige answered. "So..."

"We do so!" Pascal said defensively. "We have an extensive plan for contained universe! There's no way it could go wrong!"

"Like what?" Feige asked, bemused.

"Like Sinister Six!"

"You might have to change the entire concept and story from what you had before."

"Alright then, Amazing Spider-Man 3!"

"Garfield's out, so how can you make it, and have it make sense?"

"Well, there's the Venom or Carnage spin-off!"

"You cancelled it...I think. And if you did, you want to cram him into Sinister Six."

"Okay, well...uh...the female superhero spin-off!"

"Name we one female character you have who's interesting enough to carry her own movie."

"Gwen Stacy?"

"She's dead."

"Crap. Well, I guess there's still...Amazing Spider-Man 4?" Pascal finished, defeated.

Feige just laughed. "Let's be realistic, please."

"You say that, but you're sitting in the same room with a god, a super-soldier," Tony pointed out, "and whatever that thing is now." He gestured in the general direction of where Spider-Man's husk was lying on the floor.

"Yeah, why are we still here?" Natasha asked, looking bored.

"Mostly for appearance's sake." Whedon admitted, shrugging. "You guys can go now, get ready for Ultron, and all that."

The Avengers all stood up and filed towards the door, with Tony stopping at the end of the line. "What do you mean? What's Ultron?" He asked. The other Avengers also stopped, waiting for an answer.

"Oh, right, crap." Whedon realized. "That hasn't happened to you guys yet. Uh, never mind, you've got a few months before that."

Tony shrugged, and the Avengers left the room.

"That was a close one." Whedon remarked. "I almost caused another time paradox."

"Another?" Feige asked.

"Don't ask." Whedon muttered, shuddering.

"I suppose that Marvel's planning could be an asset for Spider-Man..." Pascal admitted.

"Exactly." Feige nodded. "It's not you're dealing with DC here."

"Certainly not." Pascal agreed, laughing a little.

"And who says it has to be Peter Parker?" Feige went on. "Hell, we could make it Miles Morales if we wanted to-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Pascal interrupted. "What do you mean?"

"We mean that maybe the fans want something different." Feige said, as if it was obvious.

"That's ridiculous!" Pascal laughed. "If there's anything people want more of, it's twenty to thirty year old, white men playing superheroes! And nothing else!"

"Wow, learning a lot about you today." Whedon said to himself.

"All I'm saying is that t's a possibility-" Feige started.

"No, it isn't!" Pascal cut him off. "I know Spider-Man fans, and they want more of the exact same thing that they've gotten five times in a row!"

"You couldn't be more wrong with that statement." Feige replied. "Trust me on that."

"I don't think I can." Pascal spat. "And I certainly can't trust you with our ost valuable property!"

"Oh god, please don't do this again, Amy!" Feige said, beginning to sound desperate. "Please, the fanboys will blame us-"

"I'm sorry, but I think our creative differences would be too great." Pascal replied, standing up. "And it would affect the best outcome of the story and the character."

"You don't understand what you're doing here-"

"I understand that once again, an agreement can't be made, as usual, because of your ridiculous demands." Pascal cut him off.

"Please, just sit down, we can talk this out." Feige pleaded.

"If we can't come to an agreement, then maybe we should just not decide right now." Pascal said.

"Please, not again." Feige begged. "Spider-Man needs competent people behind him for a change, and a plan for the future that fans universally want."

"Sony can decide that." Pascal replied, walking over to Spider-Man's body.

"I promise you, they can't." Feige said.

"We're done here." Pascal picked up Spider-Man off of the ground, slowly dragging it to the door. "We'll e-mail you if you have any further ideas." Pascal said. The door closed behind her when she left.

"Well, we've once again failed to come to an agreement." Feige said, disappointed. "As usual, because of Sony. And reading Amy Pascal's e-mails is physically painful to me, as someone who knows how to write in English."

"Agreed." Whedon nodded. "Should we try again with Infinity War?"

"Sounds good." Fege said, shaking his head. "I'm sure _nobody_ will have complaints about the situation when this gets out."

"We're used to it by now." Whedon shrugged.

"Unfortunately." Feige muttered.

* * *

Nick Fury sighed in relief when he saw Pascal dragging Spider-Man's body toward where the portal to the Sony dimension was waiting. He gave specific orders to the SHIELD agents around him that nobody was to help her. When she was clear of the Helicarrier and the dimension, he finally relaxed.

"Sir?" Maria Hill asked him, appearing again. "Who were they?"

"Some very, very irritating people who I didn't want to deal with any more than we already have." Fury answered, looking out at the sky. "Although, what we got out of it would have been very significant."

"But sir, that was Spider-Man." Hill protested. "Based off everything we know, that should be impossible."

"And how impossible is Thor?" Fury asked. "There are many dimensions out there, Agent. Some we've already encountered, some we have yet to discover, and some, perhaps, beyond what we could imagine..." He trailed off thoughtfully.

"Like a man dressed as a bat fighting crime?" Hill suggested.

"That sounds amazing." Fury answered. "There's no way you could mess that up!"

* * *

_**So yeah, like I said, sillier and sillier. This is a one-shot for now, but if more talks or meetings like this happen in the future between Marvel and Sony, and I have ideas, then maybe I'll make another chapter. Thanks for reading!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**WE HAVE VICTORY! So, Spider-Man's going to be in the MCU, which dates the first chapter of this story even more. But that's okay, because even though it's taken a little while, I came up with some ideas to continue this story. So, here's the chapter 2, which takes place in a confusing universe, full of jokes that I think are funny, but probably aren't.**_

* * *

Nick Fury stood at the center of the piloting team's consoles of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, currently flying thousands of feet over the Atlantic Ocean, its cloak protecting it from view, blending in with the clouds and sky around it. Agent Maria Hill approached slowly behind him, having been warned that he was once again in his annoyed mood. But she was used to it by now.

"Sir?" Hill asked, walking up behind him. "Is something the matter?"

"What do you think?" Fury replied, his gaze remaining forward.

"Well, your current level of irritation is usually reserved for dealing with Sony." Hill answered. "But that's all resolved now, isn't it."

"Officially." Fury admitted, turning to face her. "But I'd be lying if I told you I had no suspicions about ulterior motives."

"What kinds of ulterior motives, sir?" Hill asked, confused. "Aren't they just movie execs?"

Fury looked at the ground, gritting his teeth in anger. "That makes them even more dangerous."

"Sir, I really don't think we'll have any problems." Hill reasoned. "How much damage can Sony execs really do?"

"You haven't seen The Amazing Spider-Man 2 yet, have you Hill?" Fry asked.

"No, sir." Hill answered. "It was in that memo you sent out in May, you had it listed under "indecent"."

"It's been called worse." Fury shrugged, walking forward past her.

"But sir, with Amy Pascal gone, isn't the most immediate danger out of the way?" Hill called after him.

"There's always danger, Agent." Fury replied, exiting the control center and turning a corner, disappearing from sight.

Maria frowned, not truly knowing what he meant, before shrugging and walking off as well, searching for a job to do. As she walked down the halls, she briefly paused outside of Boardroom 6, hearing some unidentifiable noise inside. Remembering the last time that that room had been used, she increased her pace slightly before the fabric of the universe was threatened again. She wanted to be nowhere near Ground Zero if it was.

* * *

The cork flew out of the champagne bottle's end with a loud _pop, _followed by a cheer from everyone in the room. As the drink was dispersed into glasses and filled awaiting hands, the group inside the boardroom celebrated the momentous occasion. The joy and relief inside was palpable, as if a huge weight had been lifted from all of them. The group consisted of The Avengers themselves; Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Thor, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton, as well as Joss Whedon and Kevin Feige. The other two people were Thomas Rothman, the new head of Sony Pictures, and Drew Goddard, the director-to-be of upcoming Spider-Man projects.

"Tony, is it ready yet?" Bruce asked his friend, clinking glasses with Natasha.

"Just about." Tony answered, stopping the rapid typing on his laptop to grin at his friend. "Don't get too angry with me."

"Very funny." Bruce nodded. "That really does never get old."

"Come on, don't fight." Natasha teased. "Because we all know Bruce would win."

"I don't know." Tony said, resuming his typing but retaining the smirk. "I may have a secret weapon or two up my sleeve."

"That'd have to be a very big sleeve." Steve said, which eared a laugh from their teammates.

"And there...we...go!" Tony said triumphantly, clicking _Enter_ on the laptop and standing up, looking at the large screen on the far wall, where the image of a Twitter feed appeared. "The news just broke, and that feed is set on a refresh rate of thirty seconds. Let's watch these nerds lose their minds."

The group gave another cheer. This was a day many of thought would never happen, and they couldn't wait to see their fans' reaction.

"Well, Tom," Whedon smiled, extending a hand, "we finally did it."

"We certainly did." Rothman grinned back, shaking the director's hand. "It's been a long time coming, I'm glad we managed to finally resolve this."

"We're going to make a lot of people very happy." Feige added, also shaking Rothman's hand.

"I certainly hope so." Rothman replied.

"At least you're reasonable." Feige said. "Which is a nice change to have with Sony CEOs."

"Yes, Amy Pascal was known for her...stubbornness." Rothman admitted. "But now, that won't be an issue."

"Whatever happened to her, anyway?" Whedon asked, after clinking glasses with Goddard, his old friend. "We haven't heard anything since she stepped down."

"Oh, uh, yeah...stepped down." Rothman said, suddenly adopting an air of nervousness. "That's...that's definitely what happened. She, um...she...went to Japan."

"Japan?" Feige looked confused.

"Yes, to, uh...to meet with the executives of Sony there, to talk about...new employment options."

"Huh." Whedon said. "You'd think that would end up in the news somewhere."

"Well, I guess Sony wants to keep her fate a secret."

"Fate?"

"Future!" Rothman corrected himself quickly. "Her future, of course that's what I meant. Did I say fate? That's odd. That makes no sense for me to say." He stopped rambling, smiling nervously at the two Marvel figures.

Feige and Whedon shared a sideways look.

"Well, we wish her luck." Feige said, trying to end the conversation.

"I'll try to pass that message on." Rothman nodded.

"So, what are your plans for Spider-Man now?" Whedon interjected, changing the subject. At the sound of those words, the Avengers made their way over to join the conversation, equally as interested in Rothman's answer.

"Well, we're considering a number of talented young actors at this time." Rothman answered, clearly at ease again.

"Young like teenagers or young like thirty-year olds?" Tony asked.

"Teenagers." Rothman clarified. "At this point, we think we want to narrow it down to actors who can play as young as fifteen."

"Fifteen?" Whedon was surprised.

"Yes. We want to get an actor who'll fit the part for a while." Rothman said.

"That's remarkably...forward-thinking for Sony." Bruce remarked.

"Well, we are with the Marvel Cinematic Universe now." Rothman smiled. "It seems the thing to do."

The Avengers and Marvel executives looked at each other happily. This was someone that they could deal with.

"Do you have any specific actors in mind?" Whedon asked.

"We're thinking of people like Logan Lerman, Dylan O'Brien, Taron Egerton." Rothman listed. "People like that, young talents who we think will only get better."

"That seems like a good path to go down." Feige nodded.

"Where is Spider-Man, by the way?" Steve asked. "After last time, with what...happened to him..."

"Which was terrifying." Tony added.

"Well, he's in the Sony Casting Chamber right now." Rothman answered.

"The Sony Casting Chamber?" Clint and Natasha asked at the same time. None of the Avengers had heard of that before.

"It's where we put Spider-Man between re-boots." Rothman clarified. "As we consider actors, Spider-Man tries to find an identifiable image outside of the blank slate costume that you all saw last meeting."

"Which was, again, terrifying." Tony added.

"Well, it's nothing compared to what's happening right now." Rothman continued. "He's currently constantly changing shape, and mostly screaming as he does it."

"That sounds awful." Feige said. "And he's been through that before, hasn't he?"

"Yes, he has." Rothman nodded sadly. "I can't imagine what it would be like to go through that twice."

Bruce looked at the ground, shuddering. Natasha rubbed his arm sympathetically.

"You know, Drew, I've been wondering something." Whedon said to his friend.

"What is it?" Goddard asked.

"What happened to Marc Webb?" Whedon asked. "We sent him an invite, but we didn't get a reply."

"Ummm..." Goddard looked suddenly nervous, as if that was the question he had hoped to not be asked. "I don't think I can answer that question."

"Why not?" Feige asked, confused.

"Well, because he...quit." Goddard said quickly.

"Quit?"

"Yes, quit." Goddard continued rapidly. "He, uh, wasn't happy with how he was being treated, so he was remov-I mean, we parted ways peacefully."

Feige and Whedon shared another sideways look.

"That sounds like Webb." Feige chuckled nervously.

"Yes, it certainly does." Goddard smiled nervously, taking a sudden interest in his shoes.

"I'm sure we'll enjoy his next movie, anyway." Whedon shrugged.

"Yes, his...next...movie..." Goddard nodded.

A familiar beeping and blooping noise interrupted the conversation before it went any further, and everyone in the boardroom turned to look at the large screen. A Skype call was incoming, and Tony walked over to answer it. When it connected, the image of Simon Kinberg and Bryan Singer appeared.

"Simon? Bryan?" Feige asked them. "What can we do for you?"

"We just heard the news, congratulations!" Kinberg said. "I'm glad you managed to resolve that little situation."

"Well, don't act like we're the only ones having success!" Feige replied. "You've got 3 X-Men films coming in 2016, not to mention people are actually looking forward to Fantastic Four now."

"Oh, stop." Kinberg waved a hand dismissively. "This is your day, Kevin."

"Okay, we'll accept your praise." Whedon laughed.

"Actually, we've got someone here who wants to talk to your team." Singer said, motioning to the side. After a few seconds, Wolverine came onto the screen.

"Hey, it's Wolverine!" Tony said, as the Avengers crowded around the screen. "We've never actually met, how are you?"

"Good, good." Wolverine answered. "A little confused honestly, because we're supposed to exist in separate universes. That and the fact that our executives and directors exist alongside us."

"Wait, Wolverine, don't!" Singer managed to yell before everything started shaking. The Helicarrier dipped in the air, causing everyone in the room to fall over, landing in a pile against the windowed wall.

"Wolverine, don't question the universe, you could destroy us all!" Kinberg yelled. The Skype call remained going, and the Avengers could see the three Fox members trying to keep their balance.

"All right, all right, I'm sorry!" Wolverine yelled.

The world steadily regained proper balance, and the Avengers, as well as their executives, got to their feet again.

"Sorry about that." Wolverine said.

"It's all right." Singer replied, patting the mutant on his shoulder. "Just don't do it again."

"Yeah...yeah." Wolverine nodded.

"The Quicksilver thing was bad enough, we almost lost the whole Helicarrier." Whedon muttered.

"Hey, wait a minute, I recognise you..." Wolverine said, pointing at Rothman.

"Uh...I think you're mistaking me for someone else..." Rothman said nervously.

"No, it's you!" Wolverine snarled. "You're Tim Rothman! You're the reason that X-Men origins happened! And now you're with _them_?!

"Look, Logan, I loved Sony, but I needed to move on." Rothman tried to reason.

"We needed you!" Wolverine yelled. "When you were at Fox, we were never more profitable!"

"Since when do you care about profits?" Rothman asked.

"I'm a loner outlaw! That's my whole shtick!" Wolverine answered. "And if we get good profits, I get more solo movies!"

"That's not under my control!" Rothman replied. "That's up to the fans!"

"Fuck you!" Wolverine yelled.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Feige yelled. "Wolverine, you can't use that kind of language in a Marvel Studios film!"

"What?" Wolverine asked, looking confused.

"Don't you understand? We're owned by Disney!" Whedon yelled. "If you say that word, you're be removed from our universe!"

"What do you mea-" Wolverine started to say, before he disappeared. Kinberg and Singer looked around the room, panicked.

"Where'd he go? Kinberg asked.

"We don't know." Feige answered. "Disney's powers are far too strong to understand."

"We need to find him, _now_!" Singer exclaimed. "We've got three cameos and The Wolverine 2 to shoot!"

"Use the Fox Searchlight!" Steve suggested.

"That's not what that is!" Kinberg yelled.

"Huh." Steve said, looking surprised.

"Look, we have to find him, he's pretty much how we make all of our money." Kinberg said to everyone, reaching toward his camera. "We'll call you back when we solve this."

"Okay, goodbye." Feige said, before the connection was lost.

Tony closed the Skype window, going back the Twitter feed. "Yep, Spider-Man's the number one trend worldwide now."

"No surprise there." Clint muttered.

"What was that, Clint?" Whedon asked.

"I was just pointing out that people are clearly more interested in the "real superheroes". Clint replied sarcastically. "Why would anyone care about regular people like me?"

"Clint, please don't do this again." Whedon started.

"Start what? Bitterness that everyone hates me?" Clint replied.

"Look, we expanded your role in Age of Ultron, there's only so much we can do." Whedon said.

"What is this Age of Ultron he speaks of?" Thor quietly asked Natasha, but the only answer he got was a shrug.

"You just aren't on the same level as the rest of us, Clint." Tony said. "We all know it."

"Wow, thank you so much." Clint said. "I feel much better now, you should be a motivational speaker!"

"Look, Clint, it's okay." Feige said. "You'll get your chance-"

"When?!" Clint demanded. "Why are me and Natasha always excluded?

"Well, actually, I was in Winter Soldier." Natasha corrected. "And I was awesome."

"And they cut me from that!" Clint added. "What's the matter, didn't want people to think that stupid little Hawkeye could pin big, mighty Captain America?"

"That's not it at all, Clint." Whedon said. "We're just...playing to our strengths."

"I'm one hundred percent done with this bullshit." Clint spat, storming out of the room.

"But is he not the one who continually acknowledges his own inferiority?" Thor asked.

"That's the point, Thor." Bruce answered.

"Bruce, Thor, that's enough." Whedon told them. "You both know that Clint has a weirdly vocal fanbase, and I'm not ready for that level of annoyance right now."

"Their only argument is that he's "necessary"." Tony muttered.

"Tony, what did I just say?" Whedon asked.

"I offered to make him a technologically advanced super-bow, but he just asked for another regular old bow, and some more fancy arrows."

"Look, he's got a theme, and he's sticking with it." Whedon replied.

"Fine, whatever." Tony muttered. "I made him a thing to fire more than one arrow, at least he'll be more useful. Marginally."

"Look, how about all of you just go." Whedon told the team. "We'll find Clint later, and then you can all apologize."

The Avengers slowly left the room, the door sliding closed again.

"Well, I think we can adjourn for today, gentlemen." Feige said. "Before the fabric of our reality is threatened again."

"That happens a surprising amount of times." Whedon said.

"Well, it was great to finally resolve the Spider-Man issue." Rothman said. "With the combination of our creative teams, I see a bright future ahead for us all."

"For the first time, I think that'll happen." Whedon said.

"Well, I'm overjoyed to be on board." Rothman continued. "What about you, Drew?"

"Oh, I'm just grateful to still be on board." Goddard smiled. "When they hired me for Sinister Six, I was over the moon. But when all that started to fall apart, I was concerned about losing a chance to have a part of that universe. But with this new deal, and Sony keeping me on-board for the next Spider-Man and the new version of Sinister Six, I couldn't be happier."

"Well, I'm glad they picked someone capable." Feige said.

"Do you have any advice for me?" Goddard asked. "You guys have managed to take a lot of different characters and worlds and mix them together well."

"The number one thing I would say is to follow the world that the comics made." Feige suggested. "The biggest problem with The Amazing Spider-Man films is that they tried to be dark and gritty. Spider-Man's a bright, happy character, so the world should reflect that. Sam Raimi's films weren't perfect, but they were what they should have been."

"That's a good point." Rothman nodded.

"Embrace what you're doing." Whedon added. "The advantage we have over DC is that we embrace everything about our comics, instead of trying to change them."

"Ugh, DC." Rothman smiled. "Hopefully we never have to deal with them."

"Well, you never know." Whedon said. "The universe is a mysterious place."

"And a confusing one." Feige added.

"I couldn't agree more." Rothman smiled. "Well, until we meet again."

Everyone in the room exchanged friendly handshakes, and the Sony executives left the room, the door sliding shut behind them.

"I'll be honest, I didn't expect such a successful meeting." Feige said.

"Neither did I." Whedon replied. "But it looks like everything's going to be okay."

"Until Civil War, that is." Feige reasoned.

"Oh, of course."

"So many nerd tears."

"So, so many."

"It's beautiful."

"It truly is."

"Are we just not going to address that Amy Pascal and Marc Webb were murdered by Japanese Sony executives?"

"I think it would be better if we didn't."

"I couldn't agree more."

* * *

Nick Fury moved out of the way of the Sony executives as they walked by him, exchanging a curt nod with them. It was at that point that Agent Hill's path intersected with his, and she watched as her boss stared angrily at the backs of the Sony members, before they disappeared from view.

"Sir?" She asked. "What is it?"

"I still don't trust them." Fury answered. "There's too much history to indicate that I shouldn't."

"But sir, they gave us Spider-Man." Hill reasoned. "Clearly they believe that we can help them."

"Yes, but how far does that help need to go?" Fury asked her. "To the point where we have the best version possible? Or to the point where they're using our expertise, but still remaining in control?"

"I don't think that'll happen, sir." Hill replied.

"Well, we'll see." Fury replied. "Leopards don't change their spots, Agent Hill."

"But those aren't the same leopards." Hill pointed out.

Fury nodded, looking back down in the direction that the Sony members had walked. "Hill, that theory about the man dressed as a bat fighting crime?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I don't find it entirely plausible."

"Well sir, I've developed a few other ideas."

"Like what?" Fury asked.

"Well, how about the last member of a destroyed planet who can fly, has super-strength, laser vision, and no concern about collateral damage."

"Hm."

"And a woman from a race of Amazonians who's probably the greatest warrior in the world. She has a lasso that forces people to tell the truth."

"Interesting."

"A man from Atlantis who has control of the seas."

"He'd need a lot of tattoos and no shirt to take him seriously." Fury added.

"Good addition, I'll make a note of that." Hill replied. "And, I thought of someone who gets a ring from an alien that allows him to create anything with his mind. It turns out that he's part of an intergalactic police force."

"You've got something there. There's no way to mess that concept up." Fury nodded. "Any other ideas?"

"Off the top of my head?" Hill asked. "Uh...how about...a guy who can run really fast?"

"We already have one of those, Agent." Fury said.

"Time travel could be involved?" Hill suggested.

"I think we have a Gem for that..." Fury muttered, thinking.

"And...maybe...a cyborg?" Hill suggested.

"Just...a cyborg?"

"Well, you're kind of putting me on the spot, sir."

"What if they all came together? Like the Avengers?" Fury asked.

"Well, they'd certainly be in a league of their own in terms of problem-solving." Hill answered.

"Yes...a league of their own..." Fury said. "A league of...justice."

"Maybe, sir." Hill shrugged. "Those are just hypothetical situations."

"Impossibilities are just another day for us." Fury replied, walking away.

Hill stood still for a moment. "Maybe a little boy who gets struck by lightning and gets turned into an adult with lightning powers...with Dwayne Johnson-no, that's too weird." She muttered, walking away. She unknowingly walked by Clint, who was curled up in a ball up in the rafters, sulking.

* * *

The bright blue light of the teleportation machine glowed and filled the room, before flooding inward and disappearing. Goddard and Rothman stepped down from the circular, silver platform, and into the dark room of Sony Headquarters.

"Well done today, Drew." Rothman smiled. "It's the first step in a very important road for us."

"Glad to be a part of it, sir." Goddard grinned. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes you will." Rothman nodded. "Good night, Drew."

"Goodnight, Mr. Rothman." Drew replied, walking out of the room, leaving for his home.

Rothman's grin disappeared as soon as Goddard was out view, and he turned to his left, walking up the white wall. He stared at the smooth surface for a few seconds, and a small blue light appeared on it, scanning his eyes up and down. There was a small click as the light disappeared, followed by a smooth, robotic female voice.

"_Welcome back, Grand Master."_

A section of the wall slid away, revealing a short passageway. Rothman stepped into the wall and slowly walked down into the depths. He arrived in another room, to see a large group of people standing before the elevated platform he was standing on. Each of the people awaiting his arrival was dressed in black robes that hid their faces. They each carried long metal staffs in one hand and a candle in the other. Torches lined the stone walls, with eerie shadows cast against the wall from those standing around them.

As Rothman stepped forward, two hooded figures came from behind him and pulled a long scarlet robe onto his shoulders. They stepped away quickly as he walked a few more steps forward.

"Denizens of Sony Pictures!" Rothman yelled outwards, his calm demeanor replaced with a dark intensity. "The first step of our plan is complete!"

The Sony staff banged their staffs against the wall, the metallic clanging echoing around the chamber.

"We have infiltrated Marvel Studios and gained their trust!" Rothman went on. "With Spider-Man with them, but still under our control, we will finally accomplish our eternal task!"

The staffs banged against the floor again, the synchronized sound music to Rothman's ears.

"That is right, my children!" He yelled triumphantly. "We...shall...make...money!"

"MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!" His last word was returned to him by his employees, shouted along with the staffs' noises.

"ALL HAIL SONY!" Rothman yelled, throwing his arms above his head.

"ALL HAIL SONY! ALL HAIL SONY! ALL HAIL SONY!"

* * *

_**So yeah, that's how my brain works. I'm almost hoping for another Marvel/Sony situation so I can complete this epic trilogy. Actually, this was meant to be a trilogy as much as the Matrix. Or The Hangover. Or The Amazing Spider-Man. OOOOOOHHHHHHH! Anyway, if nothing happens, I'll probably have some ideas after Civil War, the next Spider-Man film. Thanks for reading, see you in 2016!**_

_**Update: I actually had an idea to completely take it away from the formula I've established so far and make like an action-packed finale of the Sony cult vs. The Avengers, Spider-Man, etc. Is this a completely stupid idea or a really awesome one? I have a lot of ideas for action sequences, plot twists, etc. that would stay with the tone of this story as well. Should I make that the last chapter, or a separate story? Please PM me or leave a review with your thoughts. Thanks! **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: Hello again! It's certainly been a while since I've written something for this story, or anything in general on this site. But inspiration struck again for Boardroom 6, because sometimes I just like to have fun with writing stuff. Boardroom 6 has always been goofy, and since I've established a really weird continuity, I figured I'd continue with it. So here's chapter 3 of this weirdness.**_

* * *

"Open the vault."

The two cloaked Sony minions inserted the twin keys into their receptacles. They turned them simultaneously, and the ancient vault door slid open, letting out a great creak. For the first time in months, light shone into the chamber. The wave of light gleamed against the surface of a large metal spider symbol on the wall as the minions stepped back into the shadows.

Tom Rothman, head of Sony Pictures Entertainment's Motion Picture Group, stepped forward into the doorway, cloaked in his scarlet robe. His eyes swept across the chamber, finally setting on the ground. His eyes narrowed when they settled on the ground, seeing a set of empty shackles. The ancient copyright engraved into the chains, which had once glowed on its prisoner, sat empty and black.

"Where is he?" Rothman asked quietly.

The two Sony minions emerged from the shadows once again.

"What is it, Grand Master?" One of them hissed.

Rothman extended a hand, and the minion that had spoken flew forward. The minion froze in mid-air when his body touched Rothman's hand, then began to contort. His limbs twisted in all directions, producing loud snap after snap. Rothman closed his hand into a fist, and the minion's neck twisted around completely, his body going limp. Rothman let the body drop to the ground, turning to face the second minion. The minion began to recoil, but Rothman held out a re-assuring hand.

"It's okay, brother. I won't hurt you," Rothman said in a calm, even voice.

"What do you desire, Grand Master?" The minion asked shakily.

Rothman turned back to the chamber, staring at the spider symbol, which seemed to mock him.

"Call Feige," Rothman hissed.

* * *

The S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, cloaked from sight, floated over the Atlantic Ocean steadily. Kevin Feige stood at the bridge, looking out over the cascading waves, deep in thought. Maria hill approached him.

"Mr. Feige?" She asked.

Feige turned, snapping back to reality. "Yes? What is it?"

"Priority message, sir," Hill answered, with an air of nervousness. "From Sony."

Feige's eyes narrowed. "I see."

Feige turned back to stare out at the waves, thinking once again. When he turned back, Hill could see a familiar look in his eyes.

"You know, I've really had it with these motherfuc—" Feige started.

"Mr. Feige, no!" Hill exclaimed, slapping a hand over his mouth. "You know what Disney will do if you say The Word."

"Ymmrrrr rrrttt," Feige said.

"What?"

"You're right," Feige repeated, pulling her hand away. "And don't ever do that again."

"Yes, sir."

"There's no escaping this one, Hill," Feige admitted. "There's only one thing we can do."

"Should I prepare the boardroom?" Hill asked.

Feige smiled. "Yes, as soon as possible. And contact the safe house. I need our recently recovered asset."

* * *

When Tom Rothman arrived aboard the Helicarrier through the teleportation portal, he started moving immediately. He strode down the halls of the enormous vehicle quickly, ignoring the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that were in his way.

He stopped outside of Boardroom 6, inhaling a deep breath, before taking a final step forward. The automated door slid to the side, and Rothman entered. Four people sat waiting for him on one side of the table; Kevin Feige, Joe and Anthony Russo, and at the end of the table, Spider-Man.

"Tom," Feige said, nodding at him.

Rothman said nothing, walking forward and taking a seat opposite them. As he settled down, he shot a murderous look at Spider-Man, who recoiled.

"What did you want to talk about?" Feige continued.

"You stole him from us," Rothman said darkly.

"We took what was rightfully ours," Anthony replied.

"What, no Avengers security this time?" Rothman asked mockingly.

"Well, they're dealing with a lot of stuff right now," Feige said, looking at the Russos.

"It all started when Wanda blew up a building in Lagos..." Joe started.

"You know what, I don't care. I really just don't care," Rothman interrupted, holding up his hand.

"Why? You don't want to hear about a story where Spider-Man is likable?" Anthony asked mockingly.

"Likable? You mean pointless?" Rothman asked mockingly.

"At least he's not a spiky-haired douche!" Joe said, his voice steadily rising.

"You want to go, little man?" Rothman yelled, jumping to his feet.

"Bring it on!" The Russos yelled in unison, rising out of their chairs simultaneously.

"I will fuc—" Rothman started to roar.

"NO! YOU'LL DISAPPEAR!"

Everyone turned to look at the end of the table, shocked to see that Spider-Man had intervened. Spider-Man looked at his outstretched arm, his eyes widening.

"Spider-Man...you...you saved me," Rothman said.

"I...I didn't mean...I don't know why I..." Spider-Man sputtered.

"I do," Rothman said, a grin breaking out across his face. "Sony is still a part of you. You can never truly let us go."

"No, he belongs with us," Feige hissed. "You did nothing but ruin him."

"We brought him back," Joe said. "We made him how he should be."

"But we made him a phenomenon," Rothman replied.

"A phenomenon that you ruined," Anthony pointed out.

"It wasn't really me," Rothman pointed out. "We still put that on Raimi."

"Okay, can we all calm down now?" Feige asked. "We clearly have a lot to discuss, so let's at least be civil."

"Civil?" the Russos said, their heads snapping towards Feige at the same time.

"Sorry, sorry. I forgot that was one of your activation words," Feige said. "Please, everyone. Just sit down."

Rothman and the Russos slowly took their seats, their murderous looks fading away.

"Okay, then," Feige said. "So, Tom, what exactly is the problem?"

"We gave you Spider-Man in correlation with the agreement that future films would be a collaboration," Rothman said evenly. "But when I went to see him in the vault, he was gone. That can only mean one thing."

"The vault?" Feige asked.

"Yes, that's where we keep him between movies," Rothman nodded.

At the head of the table, Spider-Man shuddered.

"Don't worry, Spidey," Feige said re-assuredly. "The Disney Vault is much more comfortable."

"The only way that he could have gotten out of that vault is if Marvel Studios assumed creative control of Homecoming," Rothman continued.

"Alright, I'll admit it," Feige nodded. "We have creative control."

"I KNEW IT!" Rothman roared, jumping to his feet and extending his arm outward, curling his hand into a claw-like shape.

The Marvel representatives stared blankly at his hand, confused.

"What are you-" Feige started to ask.

"Nothing!" Rothman snapped, taking his hand back and slumping back in his chair.

"Kevin, can we go now?" Joe asked.

"Yeah, we kind of have a lot to work on," Anthony added.

"Like what?" Feig asked.

"Uh...those Infinity War movies," Anthony said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"We may have mentioned them once or twice," Joe said.

"Oh, yeah. That's right," Feige nodded. "Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

The Russos stood up, exchanging concerned looks as they moved towards the door. When the door slid shut behind them, Feige put his head in his hands, leaning against the table.

"I'm sorry, Tom," Feige sighed. "I have a lot going on right now."

"So do I," Rothman replied, more calmly. "You know what the Japanese Sony execs are capable of. I don't want to end up like Pascal or Webb."

"Isn't Amy producing Ghostbusters?" Feige asked.

"She's producing Homecoming, too," Spider-Man chimed in. "Also, who is that?"

Both of the studio heads shot him an annoyed look, and the superhero put his head down.

"Do you know what it's like, Kevin?" Rothman asked, a hint of desperation in his voice. "To be scared every time you see a Japanese person?"

"I think that's just racism," Feige replied.

"Trust me, it's not," Rothman shuddered. "You might think that Amy Pascal is producing films, but it's not the Amy Pascal you once knew."

"Who's Amy Pascal?" Spider-Man asked again.

"She's the one who...what a minute..." Feige trailed off, looking confused. "How does he not know?"

"Well, you've seen what happens when Spider-Man doesn't have an actor attached to his form," Rothman answered. "When he loses that, he loses his memories. When we find a new face for him, he slowly accumulates memories from the world he's inhabiting. But he has moments where he regresses, and experiences the pasts of different versions of himself. Sometimes we can trigger it."

"That's awful." Feige said.

"Damn right it is, but it's effective," Rothman shrugged. "Watch this. Hey, Spidey!"

"Yeah?"

"Harry Osborn!"

Spider-Man started to twitch, his arms shaking violently. "Harry...Harry Os...Harry Osborn...I can see...James...Franco...and Dane...Dane...oh, it's on the tip of my tongue..."

"Dane Dehaan," Feige finished for him.

"Who?" Rothman looked between them, confused.

"I see Franco on a...on a rocket snowboard...and Dane Dehaan with...terrible makeup...horrible writing...oh, God...people were paid to write this?" Spider-Man continued. "Who would...who's evil enough to put this into the world?"

"Sony," Feige answered.

"Sony...Sony is friend...but Sony bad...Sony bad...bad bad bad..." Spider-Man trailed off, slumping back in his chair suddenly, completely limp.

"He'll be like that for two or three hours," Rothman said, as Feige stared at the limp hero's body.

"How many of our characters have horrific mind control issues?" Feige muttered, standing up and pacing across the room.

"What's the deal with casting this Tom Holland guy, anyway?" Rothman asked. "He's age-appropriate for the character. It doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah, crazy," Feige shook his head. "I don't know what we were thinking."

"You know who'd make a good Spider-Man?" Rothman asked.

"Who?" Feige asked, rubbing his temples.

"Paul F. Tompkins," Rothman said thoughtfully.

"PAUL F-" Feige shouted, smashing his hand down onto the table, punching a hole through it.

The room fell silent for a moment, as both of the executives stared at Feige's arm. Feige slowly brought his hand out of the table, shaking it with a slightly pained look on his face.

"Are you okay, Kevin?" Rothman asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Feige answered tensely. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Rothman asked. "You know, because of the whole...table thing."

"I'm just a little stressed at the moment," Feige nodded.

"I can see that," Rothman nodded.

"Do you know how much stress planning five hundred movies over the course of sixteen decades causes?" Feige asked.

"No."

"Well, it's a lot," Feige continued. "I don't even know why we're planning that far ahead."

"Neither do I." Rothman replied.

"We just need to find some middle ground," Feige said, rubbing his eyes.

"What can we do?" Rothman asked.

"I don't know," Feige shook his head. "We're stuck with movies, merchandising rights are locked..."

"What about video games?" Rothman asked.

"Video games?" Feige asked, perking up. "That's perfect!"

"Why?"

"WHY?" Feige exclaimed. "Because Sony owns this little thing called the PLAYSTATION."

"We do?" Rothman asked. "What's that?"

"It's...never mind," Feige shook his head. "We've been planning a new Spider-Man game, and it's actually looking good this time."

"So?"

"SO?" Feige asked incredulously. "So we can release the game as a PlayStation exclusive, which guarantees Sony a ton of profit!"

"Profit?" Rothman perked up.

"Yes, profit!" Feige said happily. "If the game is actually good, then we could make more games, and that means more money!"

"More...money..." Rothman nodded slowly. "Yes...I like the sound of that."

"Can we agree on that for now?" Feige asked.

"Yes, I think we can," Rothman said, rising to his feet and extending a hand.

"Very good," Feige replied, smiling and extending his own hand.

The two executives shook hands warmly, reaching a peaceful compromise for the moment.

"Well, are we good for today, then?" Feige asked.

"Yes," Rothman nodded, moving towards the door. "I'll be heading home, then."

The door slid open and Rothman exited the boardroom, starting to walk down the hallway, but stopped at the next door. The entrance to Boardroom 5 was open, and Tony Stark stood in the corner, staring out the window.

"What's he doing?" Rothman asked, looking back as Feige exited the boardroom.

"Oh, Tony?" Feige asked, walking towards Rothman and looking inside Boardroom 5. "Yeah, he just kind of sits around boardrooms dramatically now. It's how he deals with stuff."

"Huh," Rothman said, shaking his head and walking away.

* * *

The teleportation portal glowed blue in the Sony cavern, a sudden flash delivering Rothman back to his home. A legion of cloaked figures stood at attention, with two attendants coming up behind him and cloaking him in his scarlet robe.

"Denizens of Sony!" Rothman called out, his voice booming through the area.

"YES, GRAND MASTER?" The response echoed back at him.

"We have found a new way to make money!" Rothman shouted victoriously.

"MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!"

"And now, the lord of Marvel Studios, Kevin _Feige_," Rothman spat the word like an insult.

Rothman's minions hissed angrily in response to the name.

"We have his trust," Rothman grinned. "We have a way into their world."

"YES, GRAND MASTER!"

"And we will have..." Rothman trailed off dramatically. "MONEY!"

"MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!"

The chant continued as Rothman began to cackle, holding out his arms over the cloaked minions. The victorious noises continued on for a long time, as the denizens of Sony celebrated their coming profit.

For it was all they knew.

* * *

_**AN: Well, that was dumb. Thanks for reading!**_


End file.
